Back from the IUI morning from hell. I am really hoping that today's events are not a predictor of this entire cycle being a bust.
To begin with, we are lucky that we even got in for our appointment. It seems that Seattleites have forgotten how to drive in the RAIN. There is also a lot of talk on the news about a storm coming this afternoon and apparently that is keeping people from being able to focus on the morning commute. There were accidents everywhere and we were bumper to bumper the whole way. A drive which usually takes us no more than an hour took us two hours today. We had left a little margin for error on the timing, but not enough to stick to our original appointment time. When I realized this, I made a teary phone call to the receptionist and had to tangle over when we could reschedule. They had plenty of afternoon appointments, but DH had to be back at work by noon, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Finally, we managed to sneak in to a later set of appointments.
After what seemed like ages, we got back to the lab for my husband's appointment and. . .well, the only way to put this is that he had performance anxiety. This is not his first time producing a specimen, but for some reason, he was not in the "mood" today. We were finally able to get the job done, but it took tears on my part and a lot of concentration on his. Oh, the memories. . .
To further complicate the day, do you remember the plaque that my dearest husband wanted after his great sperm count last month? Well, this month, he had to take his plaque down. His post-wash count was 9 million, which is on the low side. It definitely put a pin in his ego balloon, but the doctor reassured us that it was still a decent enough count to get the job done. After all, his super count from last month didn't seal the deal. It only takes one. But it was still not the greatest of counts and does slightly reduce our chances for success.
My usual doctor was at bat today, the one with no bedside manner whatsoever. She actually started out okay, but fizzled quickly. You can tell that she doesn't read charts before she comes in and had no idea who we were or what our story is. She asked how long we had been trying and how many IUIs we had done. When I told her, she said that we would just have to hope that this was it and we finally got pregnant. I reminded her that we have been pregnant before, and she just looked at me as if I was speaking some foreign language that she didn't understand.
We finally got down to business and for some reason, it HURT when she did the IUI. Last month, I didn't feel a thing, just a bit of pressure, but this time, I actually got tears in my eyes from the brief but sharp pain. We got none of the cute sprinkles of baby dust, just a couple of comments on the weather and then she was out the door. I am still cramping and it has been almost two hours.
I still have hope. I still believe that this is our cycle. And I am so grateful and so humbled how everyone has made time in their busy lives to follow one girl's silly ramblings. When I saw how many well wishes that I had waiting for me, I was overwhelmed. I hope that I am able to be there for you as you have been there for me. From the bottom of my infertile little heart, thank you, thank you, thank you.